


The Cut Outs

by frankabagnale



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Fix-It, M/M, Supernatural - Freeform, s15e20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:47:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27697144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frankabagnale/pseuds/frankabagnale
Summary: I didn't even watch season 15 in full and yet I’m feeling like we didn’t actually get to that finish line. Like some bits were cut out and we’re yearning to see those, badly.So I wrote them myself.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	The Cut Outs

Y’see, Dean understand Heaven now; he gets the whole happy shtick. He was happy when he arrived; the gentle breeze of the evergreen trees, the gentle skipping river, the crystal clear blue sky. He felt it in his core (does he even have a core anymore?) , but he also felt the familiar twinge he was surprised to acknowledge; missing another person, profoundly.

He’s greeted by Bobby with a cursory introduction into Heaven 101. It takes a bit for him to digest that _he's here, he's okay, he's not suffering._ Not surprisingly, Bobby notices Dean’s slight crestfallen face, to which he helpfully adds _he’ll be along_.  
And Dean smiles; radiates in fact – yes, Sam will be along shortly. But what about –

"I’m not talking about Sam, boy," Bobby’s gruff voice cuts through his brain fog, "He’s a busybody these days, what with Heaven being new and him being the almighty Castiel everyone wants to meet," it turns into a chuckle now as he offers Dean a very fatherly look. "He’s only here for you. Somehow he knew, this is where he should wait for you."

And Dean – Dean doesn’t know what to say to that. On one plane of logic, he’s angry (can you get angry in Heaven?!) that Cas hasn’t sought him out immediately. On another plane, selfish. Foolish. Stupid. Isn’t Heaven supposed to be inherent happiness?  
  
"No," Bobby startles him with the creepy mind read trick and Dean looks up alarmed. "It’s here for you to figure out who you are and what your real happiness means. Which usually takes a bit of time, heaven or no heaven. And you're allowed to take that time to figure this shit out, not just erase it."

"I still don’t understand," he finally manages his first words in this alternate universe of existing. He sighs, takes a swig of his beer whilst looking at the rough flooring. "We never had time to figure it out, y’know. God – heh, Jack - God knows I really put it to the back of my mind, because surviving, saving, killing things was first and foremost," it comes out manly, _proud_ ; but now it feels not out of need, but just – habit. "And then he – he died – he left me, again, _again_ Bobby and I just did it again." it feels like a confession. "I decided not to mourn him, not to ask for him back, because I had _no_ right. Who was I," he barks a sad laugh, "this puny human, to think this celestial damn wave of angelic intent was m-" he swallows, voice dims, "-meant for me."

Bobby just smiles, shrugs his shoulders, "I guess you’re one lucky bastard. So, what are you gonna do now, Dean?"

The gleaming hood of the Impala catches Dean’s eye and he takes this as an invitation. "I’ll go for a drive, I think."

*

He follows the road until it very obviously feels like he should stop there. Doesn’t question why, doesn’t ask how long it took to get here, just gets out of the car quietly and walks to the middle of the opening. He notices the landscape has changed; more barren, more familiar. And there it is.  
The barn.

The barn he died in. The barn he met Cas in for the first time. And here it is again.  
Slowly, he makes his way over, noticing how his hunter’s instinct to be cautious has evaporated. It irrevocably feels like an invitation. The barn is empty, but then – Dean thinks for a split second, of course it is. Hope getting the better of him; yearning catching him off guard. He walks out, deflated; but dares not look up. Maybe this is Heaven’s way of showing him that yes, he can have everything he wants, but not the actual Son of Heaven. Some lines have to be drawn.

Time passes as he lies in the grass next to the barn; just enjoying looking up into the sky reverently. How did he miss this incredible blue, all these years? How did he-

“Hello, Dean.”  
His heart stops.  
Maybe it doesn’t beat anymore, because he doesn’t need it anymore?  
“Cas,” it’s a whisper, a quiet confession on its own accord.  
  
“You’re exactly on time,” Cas quips with a smile, those eyes twinkling, for the first time without a tinge of sadness in them. “I knew I should wait for you here.” Dean’s still lying down, so the angel gingerly joins him; their shoulders brushing. Cas looks over and holy fuck – Dean’s idea of happiness; being, needing, _wanting_ , just explodes within him. No words, no sharp intakes of breath needed; all he needed was to step back from the constant running, surviving – to realise immediately.

“I love you too,” he says matter of factly, looking away from Cas, back into the depths of the skies. “I’m still not sure your version was meant for me. If it was human or celestial, if it was meant for whole of humanity or just me,” he adds, “but here, _now_ – I don’t care. I mean it properly, Cas. I love you. In a human, selfish, just-for-me kinda way.”  
  
And it’s out there. This is the new Heaven; where you are allowed to be exactly what you are – and Dean speaks as such.  
  
“You’re in Heaven and you still don’t believe you’re worthy,” Cas’s voice is a small whisper, “You _are_ humanity to me. You are the epitome of all that humanity should be – but this is not why I fell for you.” The hunter sits up, looks back at him, “You’ll need to spell it out for me, Cas. I need to hear it loud and clear.”

Cas’s lilting laughter fills the space around him and his loving look washes over him like a warm cloud. “I fell for you because you showed me what it is like to want something for myself – and Dean, I _wanted_ ,” he whispers, “At first I didn’t really understand it. I’d stand close to you; I’d try and figure out why I’m so drawn to you.” He’s smiling again, but with a layer of sadness over it, “It felt like needing you was integral to my living.”

“Years later, different planes of existing, different universes, different bodies – it still followed me everywhere I went. My love for you just bloomed into this disproportionate part of to the point where sometimes I felt I was-” a sigh escapes the angel's mouth, “I was mostly just made of love for Dean Winchester and a side dish of celestial waves.”

There it is. Crystal clear.

Moments of silence pass; both of them content to finally be in each other’s presence without an air of pretence, disaster or even apocalypse.

“Does that mean we get to hold hands and crap?” It’s a habit Dean can’t get out of, no matter how much his head feels like it just unfolded itself into a clean, crisp sheet of paper.

Cas just laughs; the thrill of it makes the hunter think maybe- _can he_ \- and dips down for a chaste kiss. “This too?” he asks, full of hope and blooming happiness, to which Cas nods, “Yes, this too.”

*

Later when they go to pick up Sam, Cas stands in the background; revelling in the fact that the world has been set right – not the world at large; but _his_ world. As Dean hugs Sam, a slight flutter catches the angel’s attention.

He doesn’t need to look at Jack to know he’s there. “Welcome back,” Cas says as he looks to the new God. “You’re missing all the good bits.”

Jack laughs and pats Castiel on the back. Like suddenly he’s the father here, glad his son has finally found happiness. And in a weird way, it’s exactly like that. “I wish I was here to see the Grand Reunion. But no,” he sighs and turns to Castiel properly this time, “Whilst I'm rebuilding the world, things are going awry in places where I'm yet to step foot - so I need help. And when I say help, I mean I need the _full_ Free Will Team,” he glances over to the brothers, “bonus no dying or apocalypse this time?”

Cas shrugs with an air of seriousness, but his voice carries a playful tone. “I’ll have to ask my boyfriend.”

FIN


End file.
